I remember my first few days at Longview. My first few days of college. While, at the time, I was upset with my choice to live at home and attend college, there is no doubt I was surrounded by something extraordinary. This undeniable... garden. It makes sense in my head. A place for growing and a place for surprises. I was open to it, for sure. And I changed a lot in that year and a half. I was forced to grow. just like I was forced to grow in Florida. These times are painful, like when you wake up in the middle of the night with growing pains... Moments. Only these are moments of pride, humility, laughter and the all important tears. I think maybe every tear drop is a lesson learned and an all too important moment passed.
Have you ever had a moment go by so slowly you notice every single detail? Maybe a whole day. You know it's important and it goes by just as it should. Slow. Almost going backwards but it's glorious? I can recount every detail of a life changing moment. I could name the outfits of those people who made an impact on me. Describe the way his hair blew in the wind, the smell of the maple syrup, the flash of the lights. I can feel it as I speak of it. Being there and I can tell you my anxieties and triumphs.
I'm excited for these moments this year. I know this year will be different--way different-- but I'm ready for that painful growing and that unmistakeable taste of uncertainty and freedom.
I'm glad I have previous moments to hold onto. When I'm nervous or scared. When I'm uncomfortable or sad. I'll hang onto moments. I'll hang onto my first day at Longview, Gymboree, Flagler, KC Cubbies and now Truman. Those days where I'm scared I won't live through them, but they are the best-worst days of my life.
My mind is a web... in slow motion. :)
